1. winter
group discussion-night session

* pia mane? x datang?
+ tak. die tamo kuar bilik.
* apsal?
+ sejuk.
* aik.. alasan macam tu pon boleh?

bolehla. malaysia boleh.

i guess.. winter is here.
exam in 6 days...i'm still stupid.
2 unsubmitted papers. mine's still blank.

2. new year
can't wait for january when it all ends. erkk!!!.but that'll mean another new year.
felt like it was only yesterday that i dread 2008.

3. butterfly
there are some news i'm dreading badly. more than the exams. it'll crush me when it comes.

4. panda eyes
a nigerian guy in class told me 'yr eyes look really beautiful when u r sleepy'. and since i'm always sleepy in class..i must've look pretty all the time. haha. on the other hand..he's the same guy who randomly went up to a walking chinese girl to say 'wo ai ni'. well.. it's still the nicest thing anyone hv ever said to my black ringed panda set of eyes with triple storey eyebags. *hepi*

5. aliens
hunting sessions stopped for the time being.yippee.

in the jungle, on top of a hill where the only other living creature is usually just a lost owl.
the nights staring at the spherical white dishes and blinking spectrum analyser are usually very cold and lonely. very lonely. and dark.pitch black.

the first night i was there.. i jumped at the slightest sound and was basically scared shitless of every shake of the trees, every dog howl.
to get to the kitchen and toilet, the place being previously a UK military satellite testbed, you had to leave the safety and heat of the office, and walk into a somewhat underground basement, 30 meters out. muttering all sorts of chants and cursing all shadows that dared to materiallise.. i had to freeze a few minutes infront of the wretched door to key in some number combinations.. and considering the uninviting walk towards the basement, my gallblader usually had to wait until it was brimming full for me to even consider going out..so releasing the password combination is really the hardest thing to do when u r fidgeting and jumping up and down.
the first night i was there, was around halloween..i walked in right smack into vampires and frankenstein hanged on to the kitchen wall. major curses to hell and Supernatural. wouldve made Captain Haddock blushed.

making my rounds to the satellite cabins in cases of failures are even worse. i focussed on just listening to my heart beat and my own footsteps. any other sounds and i'll hum to the Ketchup song.

I tried hard to kill all the stupid images in my head, and even tho i still let my gallbladders suffer, the following nights became more bearable.
Until one night.. i walked into the kitchen and met a hunched blonde woman..scrounching and picking something on the floor. it was a full minute before she heard me there, and then she turned around really, really slowly, looked at me with a set of eyes that gets rounder by the second, flipped her stringy dirty blond hair and screamed bloody murder.

that was when i realised, around here, in this isolated jungle, i am the scariest creature to ever exist.with my black head scarf, oversized winter jacket, excess fat and blackened zombied eye (effect off 3 storey of eyebags).. hobbling around at 3 in the morning, i probably looked like Death.
She came to see her hubby who was working late in one of the offices and went running back to him..didn't even give me a chance to explain I didn't come from hell.

and that was when i stopped being scared. yep.. wasn't even scared when a few nights later, a black man burst into the cabin muttering about himself having already been dead 4 times.
but that'll be another story. for another time when the books pissed me off again.

Red, focused and unblinking, big bulbous eyes glowing with hunger.
Sharp,jagged fangs with saliva dripping at each pointed enamels.
Curved claws with hardened nails, yellowed throughout the years.
High shrieking screams coming out in fast waves of bloodcurling frequencies.
They have found Their long awaited prey and is marking Their meat.
Others should Stay away.
They are vicious in packs, with no one to fear but Their leader,
creating an ominous cloud with Their vast numbers,
Their pairs of wings sharply slicing the air with its swift movements,
keeping air- borne on the fierce wind,
the thick Wind of Fart from South.
And then They attacked, full force, no mercy, no skin left unturned.

And no one heard my silent scream of pain.

i'm alone on top of the hill sending morse codes to the aliens. looking at the world pessimistly, it just makes absolute sense that one of the system had to fail at this ungodly hour. i have to go out and fix the satellite dish but the butterflies in my tummy has turned vicious. skipped a few meals due to flu and The beasts totally lost their heads. They probably hate coffee with a vengeance. I can't even crawl out of the room, it just hurts like crazy. I'm fervently hoping that things will just be 'Right When Tested' but the monitor insists on spewing out 'remote time out' like it's Hell's new favourite vocabulary.

only thing i can do now is craddle my laptop lovingly. it takes my mind off the crippling pain. i hope, come morning, this will be a good enuff reason to explain why i spent the night watching gossip girl and reading comics.

1.struggling along as usual..all those calculations in space is killing me..how much nearer could you get to rocket science? but satellites are cool once u get to know 'em better. argh. please tell me i didn't just proclaim a contradicting love-hate emotions with gadgets.

2.obawa won..he'd better. people were drunk all night and leaving beer mugs all over the campus following through the elections result. in the lecture halls..someone has left a list on the whiteboard. a list of 'Drink when you... 1. hear obama's granny mentioned 2. hear mc cain's military services mentioned 3. hear the big florida recount mentioned.. etc etc

3.u know.. girls tend to be self sacrificing in relationships. they do it cuz they expects it to last..they do it cuz they don't mind being a footwipe..they do it cuz the guy led them to believe it's worth it. and in doing so people tend to say girls are stupid. but i think..it's just done out of love. as simple as that. i was once a footwipe too and when people ask my opinion..i say, just be a footwipe,follow yr nature,as long as you love doing it,as long as you don't mind to. i still believe in the true love theory,whatever that is. But. there should be a limit to how u tolerate it tho..if the guy never appreciates it, never says he loves u, never throws a praise yr way.. expected to be waited on hands and knees at all time and storm off whenever he didn't like yr attitude.. i say, u can't even call that a relationship. let him storm off and stop apologizing and begging for no reason. please, hv some respect for yourself.

and cheeps, this has Nothing to do with that wedding ok! let them breed in peace.

02/11/08@2322hrs reporting live from cobbett hill earth station

-no alien signals received
-temperature 2 degree celcius
-low visibility (jaket polis traffic tetinggal kat bilik arghh)
-packet traffics patterns upload/download normal
-no aliens seen lurking around satelitte dishes as viewd from cctv
-eating maggie and reading dilberts
-totally creepy

roger n out.

thawing my frozen neurons from it's deep 3 years slumber since the last day of final exam at MMU was tough.slushing through the brain matters mud, now mostly in half solid state ,i found some strings of unanswered questions floating on top and tried to squash em down back to useless zone.

1. how come the kids wailing and howling in the trains that I have seen so far, are all forreigner's kids? did the Brits inject their kids' arses with tranquillizers or something? where can i get some of those?

2. from the cumulative distribution of attenuation for signals at 11.7GHz at various location in the US, what are the factors contributing to the wide location-dependent variation observed?

3. how much stickier could OneTreeHEll gets? will payton's face keeps on beaming till she's stuck being a moonface and will Lukas never shave?

4. when the chinese lecturer decides to pick all yellows for his projects, why the hell did he bother to advertise in english? just to rubbit in that blood's thicker than dissertation papers?huh?huh?

5. if someone ditched their high school sweetheart fiance' for someone they just met , is that true love or plain ole Stay-away:Typical-East-Coast-Jerk-Ahead sign?

6. how come the grannies i have met so far, walked so much faster that i can't keep up? am i just a fat slob or did the tranquilizers the Brits babies took mutates into steroids as they age?

7. is watson donating his sperms or is he just buying baby cribs for fun?

8. where the hell are Luffy's shipmates??

and the weather just seems hellbent on freezing up the think tank again.

seeing smoke comin' outta my mouth without having to blacken my lung in the process was fun the first few days. it stopped being fun at 3 degrees celcius when the world became pitch black at 6pm. walking back to my room after a movie binge at huda's was painful. wind was a cruel howling bitch. i thot my newfound fats could be an excellent heat insulator, but they insisted on being a useless buncha cholestrols clumps.

so now walking out i have to heap up more layers of shirts and will end up looking like a rolling hippo with a backpack.top all that fat up with my pink jacket, and i'll look like a freaking pig.Snort.


now that road-tripping has lost most of its appeal.. this is where i'll be spending most of my weekends next month. ever seen those movie where some bespectacled nerds sat in front of dusty PC in a trailer on top of a hill, inna middle of the jungle, alone at midnite, with junkfoods and beers scattered around on the desk, playing solitaire while waiting for some radio frequency signals from outerspace? Well that nerd is going to be me, minus the beer and the specs. and i'll probably be playing diner dash.

Uploaded @ fotopages.

venue : Thorpe Park..(" quoted from thorpepark.com UK's most thrilling place..").20 miles from Central London

weather : pelting rain, 9 degree, whipping cold winds, dark clouds

queue : almost non-existence. it's a working day..and people either go to class or go to work.

fun factor : the rides are just crazy.

verdict : never again!

it's was a freaking fun thing that people gotta do once in their life, in the rain.

Just once though.

freezed my bones,lost 45years of my life on those rides...and whatever formula I have in my head.. lucky I haven't studied much (see..there's a reason for ev'rything..)

and still unable to live down the cheery texts arriving frm Korea.

At this time..they'd have already gone and come back.
This.Is how a crushed dream feels like.
huwwwaaaa. Just let me sulk for a bit more.
It's too cold for ice cream.

when people talks

People can't live without China. The overpriced genuine manchester united jerseys sold in the Old Trafford museum are made in China. toothbrushes. fan,lamp,half the toys in the world. Make a list of things that China does not manifacture, and u could get a rubix level riddle. see list. Next we'll hear about lead-induced jerseys causing skincancer. there goes EPL.

So where are the lawsuits? babies died drinking those milks, Starbucks had to replace their milks with soy! coffee soy!latte soy! frappu-soy! where are the lawsuits?
seems like justice is also malfunctioning in Yellowland, u can't sue for issues embarrassing the govt.Asianews.

when justice talk
Last year a US senate filed a case against God. Stating, among others, that God made terrorist threats against him and his Omaha constituents. Inspired fear and caused widespread death, destruction and terrorisation of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants. A year later today, the court decides that since God doesn't have any address and cannot be subpoenaed, the case was dismissed. It takes Justice 13 months to decide the case was crap. UKnews

when dolls talk



does it really say 'Islam is the Light'?

The greek geek : is a jolly plump fella, with curly hairs, round face (dagu 3 tingkat), thick black framed glasses and a soprano banshee-like voice. Because she's a head taller than me, I won't call her fat. Environmental Science.Obsessed with spits in general. And hormon induced-chicken's chest size.


Yellow girl #1: average asian height, waist lenght hair, size 7(UK) shoes ( i thot their mommies are sposed to bandage their feet to make it a size 0?), mainland China, bad accent, even worse grammar.


Cyprus beauty: petite, long black hair, really REALLY large almond eyes, unintelligible greek sounding english. Likes to write 'Love Letters' and paste it on the kitchen's bulletin,largely ignored by the community. "I would be plesed if we'll shut the door kindly...at nights and errly in the morning". (folks are cruel to all nonbehaving door-creatures named Errly. puh-leaaze! i mean, plese.)

Thai the click gal: Canon SLR with godknows how many lenses, likes to take pics of one particular 7 cm high soy sauce bottle, varying in bottle poses and locations in the kitchen (on window sill-light on, window sill-light off, bottle peeking out of fridge, bottle full frontal in fridge, bottle on oven,bottle inside oven etc etc). Have cool accessories inclusive of one Cool red Macbook and a thai-movie-star-lookalike boyfriend.


Yellow girl#2 : mainland China, fatter than yellow girl #1. just arrived today, dunno anything about her 'cept that she came with a boxful of lettuce heads. Haven't checked shoe size.


my favourite flatmate is the greek geek..we could talk nonstop about the differences of chicken breast in Malaysia and Greece and blamed UK's government in general for the genetically modified giant chicken drumsticks sold in Guildford's Tesco. Also blamed UK government for the Mr Bean lookalikes largely cloned into the english society. She's also my favourite cuz if she's not here, I'd be the fattest girl on the floor.


after a month of talking and analyzing their characters, I can conclude that 1090 call center agents talks better english than half the continent.
and Thai guys are almost, as cool as Korean guys. Almost.

geeks convention center

The glaring sign stuck obviously on a few brick walls on campus, calling for students to rally in a protest against UK’s central bank, the Bank of England which moves 50b of it’s resources in tax money to bail out the flailing banks.

If the 5days BTN taught us anything…if it succesfully turned us all into supreme racist beings hiding under the tag of constitution…if it successfully give birth to some patriotic champions..if it taught me anything at all..there’s one sentence during the lectures that is well drilled into my subconcious, one sentence that popped out immediately upon seeing the poster.

“Kau tahu kota London itu dibina pakai duit siapa? Bila kau sampai di London nanti, kau pergi tanya matsalleh-matsalleh di sana, Do you know how this city was build??
Kau bagitahu dia, this city was build on the money that British got from harvesting the tin wealth in Malaya! Tanpa biji timah kita, tidak terbina kota London tu! “- kata seorang pegawai kerajaan dengan penuh gusto.

For a country that is build on other’s wealth (kate pakcik tu la), with the current government inheriting one of the strongest economies in the world, it has managed to bankrupt itself spectacularly within 10 years. A majority of the people, as expected, is against this move..and the UK stock market has been in free fall eversince. The response, students and civillians alike, are also questioning if 50b can be used to bail out frivolous loans why can’t it be used to reduce petrol price? Sounds familiar? I guess the whole globe is on the same frequency wavelength nowadays, with petrol price high on the stress list. I could almost smell the ‘Hari ini menjadi kerajaan esok turun harga minyak’ debate materialising in the Student’s Union.
( even if they don’t use the 50b on bailing out bankers, the money’d probably go to the war that half the world disagrees with anyway..either way, u lose. so what the heck people, go and rally your white asses all you want.).

Poking through theedgedaily.com..it seems that Wallstreet’s free falls seems to have a dominoes effect on the Asian market as well, with KLCI down another 30 points. For friends watching the stock markets- cut the losses, turbulence ahead. I seem to remember the recent reassurance from the govt that we wont be affected by the world credit crunch, and that as of Sept22nd, the inflation rate for Malaysia, miraculously, is seemingly going down, and for everyone’s sake, I hope they are right and not just crunching numbers people want to hear.


Scrounging through a less depressing print, amidts the overplayed sensation on polical party elections gossips, Utusan.com announces Shah Rukh Khan is being crowned a Datukship, putting him inline with Nicole David on Malaysia’s Lordship Strata. So in the credits of his next film aired in Malaysia..will his name be translated as Datuk Shah ? When Utusan prints his next gossip with some bollywood hotties, will he be the esteemed Datuk S? I didn’t know we are giving away Datuks to forreigners, much less to someone who’ll just shove the tittle under his poppadum smelling carpet. Not that I care.. ev’one can have Datuks for all its worth. just promote yr own backyards.

just scavenging through the facts of the world.. and now i know where Hitz.fm or was it Fly? got their crazy facts. these kinda interests me

1. 70% of the poor people in the world are women
--> prob'ly men are too egoistic to fill in the questionnaires.
i'm rich yo, cuz my mom gimme money for my cigarettes.

2. 27% of female lottery winners hid their winning tickets in their bras
--> safer than safe deposit, i'd say

3. 66% of home based business are owned by women
-->yeah..that was before gays registered as the third gender. mak andam anyone?

4. 96% of purchased candles, are bought by women
---> i seem to remember reading a recipe that includes wax..

On the lest sexist facts..

1. An office desk has 400 times more bacteria than a toilet..
--> that incident where the office janitor was forced to wipe the toilet seat for somebody... she should burn her desk.

2. An average home creates more pollution than an average car
--> i knew it.we should be homeless to go Green.

3. Barbie's boyfriend Ken was not sold in India until recently because it clashed with the traditional arranged marriage
--> figured why mom never lets me buy Barbie.

some friends have that creative power, that bucketloads of vocab and the magic of stringing together words, turning sentences into literary wonders. grammars n rules n structures are just boring ole thingies that's negligible.

some friends have that beautiful touch to paint and inspire with drawings and sketches and cartoons.

while i know my strengths and admire these gift in others, creativity is definitely lacking in my inherited double helix. it's good ole rules n structures and lines of binary for me. going back to writing blocks of codes, and let's hope the juice hasn't got stuck somewhere between year 2000 and 3 years of customer service.

ade sorang lecturer cina, nampak gaya macam racist tapi project die macam best. tgh tunggu die announce selected programmers tapi sebab die nampak gaya macam racist dan orang lain yg interview smer pon same kaler je dengan die, nampak gaya macam kene carik project lain. ade sorang lecturer russia tapi sebab aku reply email dier utk panggil interview dengan "OK sir, roger!" dan die pon reply "are u sure this email is directed to me, it says Roger" nampak gaye kene tuka backup plan.

aaarghh. terase sunggoh malas... avoiding books and just attempting useless stuffs..like updating blogs a million times a day, and reading ev'ry blog links on ev'ry one's blog. looks like most people are bored out of their skulls.

just got back to Guildford, n got sucked into listening the cries n woes of a girlfriend over a cheating boyfriend who turns out to be engaged for like, 3 yrs to his childhood sweetheart..and i just felt so pissed. i mean, a typical malay guy..just leave yr neantherdal eastern ways in malaysia and get on with the rest of the gentlemen. i know the rule of supply and demand well.. and it's fact that malay girls far outnumbered the opposite same raced gender pool everywhere, even here. the competition makes the price of goods drop, and optimistically, it just gave you a wider range of choice for cheap, desperate stuffs. what it doesn't give u, is the license to treat gals like minced meat..tossed away when fresher meats came to view. sorry for the stupid reference to smelly proteins, but there u have it.. it's the same all over. engaged people should just stick to being engaged, and married people as well. what r u.. some butcher?

so far i hv been so in awe with the married couples i've met like yat&beny and erry&azlam who are living proves of matches made in heaven..but seriously.. the singles i've seen are mostly butchers. arrogant, ego stroking neantherdals, with the earth revolving around their hormones. there is small wonder that freaks are suddenly looking much more attractive.

raya was bleak over here..but that was before Manchester. (^_^). great people, great food, and I am thankful for familiar faces. back to school.

was just wondering..if i have a pot..what would've I cook innit..and which poor animal shall get slaughtered and get experimented with some slew of wilted leaves.. and so feeling wonderous.. thinking i'd have a reason to go shopping..I nonchalantly asked this one junior..where'd they bought their pots n pans.

next thing i knew..a scrawny kid came at 8am..first thing inna morning, knocking on my door, with a pot, and ask really nicely for me to return it after I'm finished with it, next year.
my face either looked reaaaallly scary when i asked for directions, or i must've looked really poor. either way, now i definitely have to stop wondering what to cook and actually decide on an animal sacrifice.

still on the killing subject.. i killed time painstakingly trying to bypass the ban on torrent and P2P to download some tv series that i'm achingly missing more than i missed my bratty sisters.. and sadly only managed to get House MD. Worth it though..looks like it's a race between who dies first, House or HuntingtonGirl. He'll probably wait a bit before committing suicide.. but I'm betting he'll eventually dies... overdose?maybe..

*i'd rather spend my life close to the birds..than wasting it, wishing I had wings..*

few days of seeing the same ole faces and i'm ready to sink into boredom mode and sulk and roll about in my own dark place full of spider's web in my mind, where i could indulge in negative thoughts and dreary future forecasts.it's that happy place where no one can bother me at my utmost misery.

i was on that brink of hibernation..and i ran into a whole herd of malays. no kidding. a whole herd of like 10 or so. there's a leader of the pack and little stray away malays at the back and like any other packs, there'll be one very hearty, chatty fella. always the one first to the slaughter i say.
and they asked me to a buka puasa event at one of the senior's house. wow new faces whom i don't have to talk gibberish to.

trying to get online was a bitch. the hostel have this screwed policy of not letting PCs with pirated softwares to go online. they need to get a taste of LowYat and see how it's unthinkable for Asians to use original software, when the pirate is just as good and is practically free. managed to bypass the restrictons after some headaches and more installation of pirate softwares..and here we are.

class starts today and by god it was BORING. the lecturer spoke like he's got a mouthful of croackroaches. and he says the word 'partly' sounds like 'porkly'. and so his sentences became something like..nanotechnology is a pork of whot we studied in depth for signal detections and is porkly a big pork of your dissertation bla bla bla.. basicallythat's the only sentence i remembered from the lecture.

and he looks like a shaggy german shepard with unshaved hairs all over his face and with that pork accent is entirely an uninviting sight. so i promptly fell asleep.
in my defense, it was freezing cool outside, but going into the lecture hall the heater was warm and cozy and i was like a mouse being handed cheese on a gold platter and so, compared to the hairy-coakroach-mouthed fella, sleep is the next best thing.

another malay girl was there, taking the same course.but she was too chatty and noisy it's irritating. mostly all other students were forreigners..no hot koreans.

went back to the room and found out Msia have a new Minister of Defense. and a new Minister of Finance. now ain't that cute. keep on swapping till 2010. meanwhile the KLCI dropped 1.87% making it the lowest point for 2008. do make an inference, somebody.

kyaaaaa! I got here. and ina-chan, it did not take me 2 weeks to find the bloody campus, haha. last minute ticket acquired means there is no one from the university to pick me up at 5am on a Sunday morning. with luggage the size of a horse pregnant with twins (exxaaagggggerate) ..managed to wrestle it up the bus, train and taxi ride till I got to the campus. about 1 hr of road trip from the international heathrow airport. there's virtually no one on campus yet..since the main registration is on 17th. I know the other 2 person who's supposed to be on my flight cancelled their tickets.. but damn it..where's all those other Mara students? did everyone cancelled their flights or what? or other Malay students for that matter. wasn't this place supposed to be the Kampung Baru of UK? prob'ly a pandemic of Sunday Hibernation. being lonely aside..the place is just so beaaaaauuuutiful...

departure was quite an event... my luggages, being that immense, are nearly 10kg (RM 1750 additional charge) above the allowable limit thanx to mama's sup bunjut satu papan,rice cooker, rempah ratus satu papan, one year's supply of bla bla and of course, my endless supplies of clothes. transfered some to hand luggage, and the counter person closed her eyes to the remaining excess..thank you! hehe. nampak budak2 lain kat counter pon sebok je memunggah baju sumer hahah sumer pon kes overload. it was a sweet farewell with my family with no tears involved hehe. surprisingly, some guys from btn showed up; sending mom into major cartwheels.aadoi.luckily, no one got married.

took a walk rounda campus... and took a few pics i'm too lazy to upload now... and back to my room as it's freaking windy. gonna go on another walk tomorrow..did saw a Tesco supermarket somewhat nearby.... it's 2 hours to buka puasa now.... i'm exhausted....

she's driving me crazy with her questions.
-can u not go?
-why do you still have to study?
-what do working people study?
-what if you did not study?
-can u not go?
and kept clinging to me like a fanatic stalker koala bear.

even after i taught her how to operate the webcam and use skype. and painstakingly finished explaining earth rotation around the sun, and the effects of night and day, to make her understand the time zone difference.

why can't she ask questions like "hey, what do you think is gonna happen on Sept 16th?"
or "don't you think the new American Idol judge is a wee bit too bitchy?"

yep.. the hardest farewell and the person i'll miss most is probably 6 year old Saamia.