met this guy cruising down in London town yesterday..
he found UCL with his build in 'GPS' map selotaped permanently to the motorcyle handle.
they say good things comes free..

Life is short.

Why should I suffer if people treats me like dirt. I know I'm above dirt.

Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.- Alice walker

I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.
-F.Perls

So People can shove dirt down his ass and set himself on fire.


Dear World,
I am sorry for having expectations.

definitely very bad..

-forwarded from apak-

I wasn't really always forgetful. It was just that my neurons and nuerotransmitters were sometimes out of focus, as they were always ganging up on me, they always went off to read One Piece whenever I really need to find my keys.

Kadang2, mesti ade je orang2 yang akan cuba buat lawak-
" cuba kau miscall sket kunci tu. senang sket nak carik."

Lepas ni tadek sape dah bley buat lawak bodo camtu. Bukan sebab saya dah tak pelupa lagi.
Tapi sebab skarang, dah memang boleh misscall kunci.


Hail the keyfinder which comes with a credit card sized 'caller' that can track my keys from inside the drawers, under the pillows, or from the Underground world beneath the floor crack.

finally.

It's school hols. Which means its The season again.
That season that chickens hates and cows cow-ered from.
Where the rich do it effortlessly in luxury hotels, the not so rich either do it moderately or take out loans to do it like the rich.
And if I'm in Malaysia it will mean weekends of free lunch and road trips.

Already missed 2 sets of my friends wedding and going to miss another 3 confirmed dates this year. And 2 more from the officemates I presume?confirmkan korang, atul and arin? heh. Big congrats and all.. u guys are prob'ly gonna live happily ever after, or u have to die trying.

Curiously, these few weeks also witnessed the season of breakups. And not just breakups of simple puppy love couples.. but breakup over vows, engagement vows and marriage vows.
Listening to their problems.. observing the male counterparts of the other halves, some things just keeps on boiling in my head and I have these to say.

1. For the boy whose well intentioned pinangan was rejected..kesian. However thick her pheromones are engulfing you right now , however stupidly in love she made you feel,beb, zaman skarang ni mane ade orang masok meminang main terjah je!

2. For the married couple who got divorced, ugly as it is.. it's uglier when the guy badmouths the wife to another girl, read, Me. And so not cool if that other girl is not even your close friend, even worse if that girl is still single, it freaks us out on whatever frail believe we had on the fairy tale ending of a prince and princess in love. Ever heard of till death do us part?

Whose ever fault it is, I still think you are just finding faults with your wife because a) you are bored of her b) you had your eyes on some other girl.
it's either of these because you, are a typical Malay man. You had kids, and suddenly u too want to become a hyperactive boy? Enduring like an adult is out of the question? Grow up. Or better still, haul your ass to hell and kill yourself. Make sure u choke on your balls first, we wouldn't want another idiot with your genes accidently spawned on yr way to hell.

I'm like this because your reasons of breaking your vows are so effing unbelievable. I would really have not hate you if its because your wife beats u up , or if yr wife eats babies for breakfast or if she turns out to be a lesbian. She works. So she works?So she wouldn't quit? Are you a millionaire?
So SHE'S BUSY? She weren't busy when u guys were all over each other? PAH. It's another girl isn't it?

3. For the 2 broken engagements. If the guy's innit for sex, and if u know it and didn't leave him, that's your problem. And if u gave in, that's your problem too. Orang tua2 kate tepuk sbelah tak bebunyi. And if that's the only foundation to your relationship, I hate to say this, but what the hell else do you expect? Just thank god u don't have a baby to murder.

And to that other couple.. I am by default, always siding blindly to the girls. It's that ancient rule of bitches bunched together or some such pun. In yr case.. well sure, I pity u having bought all the trays of expensive gifts, all that family meetings with his side too. But u chose to do it despite knowing he's also engaged to another woman. It's either u or her. And why, do u have to degrade yrself as to wait until he broke it off with ya? What kind of lowlife scum gets engaged to 2 families anyway? kalau ye pon true love, tunggu la die ceraikan tunang die dulu. You should just fry him alive the moment u found out about his other fiancé.

4. I think a typical Malay man, a bad one, (shut up, i said, a bad man) is either a cheater, or a lazy ass liar, and mostly a cheater.

5. The type of guy I hate most is the one who acts all sweet boyfriend type when the girl's friends are around them. In private he treats her like a maid. when she's not there he asks his friends about other girl's number/email, and ask to be introduced to the next cute thing, and flirts around like there's no tomorrow, while his girlfriend waits on him on hands and foot. In other words, everyone else know how the girlfriend is being treated,but the girlfriend.
In the end, when he's finished using her, he tells her they are just friends.

This type of guys, I wish they'll get a taste of their own medicine. To be kind is to be cruel, if u have your sights set elsewhere, be a gentleman and break it off instead of playing with other's emotions. If u need a maid to cook and do your stuffs, get an Indon.

6. The type of girl I can't deal with is the ones who fell in love with someone else's boyfriend/fiancé/husband. I wouldn't wish that painful experience to any other girl.

For whatever reasons, I know break up sucks. For the girls, cry all u want, it'll get better once the tears are all dried up, just don't kill yourself.
For the boys.. suck it up.


7. And finally, accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart..
-M.Aurelius

the queen of all things Apple (macbook air barula king) finally arrived, officially unlocked, in Malaysia, brought by Maxis.

to those who has been salivating the glossy black finish(now it comes in white) when it first debutted and then who watched how the Japanese queued for 2 days before the day of its release in Jul last year.. and all we can do is nod our head and agree that although the japs's nation are made of crazy otakus and pervs; and standing in line for 2 days for a gadget is their normal way of life, we just had to agree,that it's completely worth it.

the first thing i bought after a few weeks of settling down here last year, is my own 16G white iPhone 3G. and life has been so much sweeter since. in UK at the pre-recession time, I got this gem for around GBP280 (RM 1452 following the current forex rate) which was much cheaper than my last sonyE W850i.Now the price has ballooned up again to almost GBP450. i guess it still worth it. why?

the iPhone is made effective and worth having because of it's associated applications made available for it, that can be downloaded for free or for a small fee from iTunes. i can be anywhere in Uk and it can track me and direct me with the map gps, from my position it can tell me the Qibla and praying time, it can tell me what's the star constellation right over my head at the position where i'm standing (exclusively for freaks only), it can show me the nearest train station and the schedule of all the trains stopping there, it can find me nearby restaurants plus reviews, i can make voip calls on skype and fring.. i could go on and on and sound like a crazy shop assistant.did i also mention it's extremely cool exterior?

and the games? don't get me started on the games. coolest GUI.

all things said.. the touch screen function far outpace other brands of touchscreen phones in terms of speed and accuracy. try to get yr hands on the latest batch of touchy-feely phones from Samsung, Sony E or HTC. I could only cackle satanically in glee when testing the HTC Diamond's snail paced touch reaction.

and all things said.. iPhone's camera is pretty useless. can't even do video without dloading external apps. but of course, its music function and extreme coolness makes up for that and more.

and all things said and done.. in conclusion the iPhone is successful mostly because of its nifty applications. and those nifty applications can only be fully enjoyed over REAL 3G network.
for less than RM1500 i got myself an iPhone, unlimited SMS package and unlimited surfing on REAL 3G network. and since the people i want to SMS here can be counted on one hand.. i can't ask for anything more.

the day i streamed youtube on the iPhone, ON a moving bus... and got smoothsailing videos of dongbangshinki's intricate dance steps.. i almost choked in compassion, terharu gile. bukan sebab diorang menari lawa.. tapi sebab streaming tak sangkot2 langsong. perfect.

now back to Maxis.. i understand the temptation to extort as much money as possible from the gadget crazy crowd in Malaysia.. i daresay a lot of people will willingly sell their soul and the shirt on their back for this phone, but the package they announced is pretty much cuththroat. memang kene kaya baru bley pakai iphone kat Malaysia.

the cheapest iPhone package is RM 1900 only for 8G ihone and RM2290 for the 16G. pay that, and another compulsory RM 100 montly. you will still be charged 0.10 per SMS. u get about 5 hours free call minutes... but got a LIMITED 500MB of data (for surfing/downloading). that's for the cheapest package. i mean.. why the hell limited surfing? that's half the purpose of having an iPhone OK. after 500MB you'll be charged 0.50sen per KB. for the other package check their website. even the most expensive package at RM375montly, you'll get a limited 3Gigabyte data surfing.

if u hv the money.. i guess anyone will go for the nearest to unlimited surfing..and 3Gig is a lot even for me. even 500MB is alot. they really just want to extort as much as possible by allowing different levels of access.

unless u just want the iphone for accessorizing i guess u wouldn't mind that. i guess not many people spend 24 hours of their days googling and on youtube and searching for directions and checking emails..and..wait..why don't you just buy the old black and white nokia then?


now before i came here..i was a user of the 3G unlimited package of Celcom's for almost 2 years. and most of the time i tried the video on demand or just plain web surfing, i ended up banging the phone on the wall. there seems to be no clear distinction between the 56KB dial up and the so called 3G network. i don't know how it is over there now, but looking at the fact that i've only been away for 6 months, and looking at the low yat forum, where the entries for official complaints on Celcom's 3G network is now entering it's 5th version due to the flood of complaints, you can only guess that it's not improving much. In fact, it's allegedly degraded more badly than before. and erm.. since they are sharing the same backbone facilities as Maxis..i can only bet that it's the same difference.

and you still get limited surfing for that.
hahah.
why am i caring so much anyway. i already got my iPhone. and i surf without a ceiling limit hanging over my head and all the star constellations in the world, for free.*evil laugh*

-the insides of my mouth feels like its on fire. of all the place to get an ulcer, it had to be a long streak inside my left cheek, right between the upper and lower storey of my teeth. it's not like my cheeks are now so fat t hat i frequently bite that area when i am chewing, it just like to get in the way of the hyper chompings when i'm famished. Now just the thought of chomping is killing me.

- i can't get into my own kitchen and get dinner. there's some sort of cooking party or tupperware party of some sorts and it has been for hours now. smoke's coming out of the closed door and when i timidly tried to open it, a sorry looking pale-zitty-yellow faced long pole with short tufts of greasy, dandruff streaked hair greets me with a cheesy smile. i had to do a double take to digest the ugliness of that toothy smile before looking around and seeing, amidst the smoke...his duplicate dopplergangers. all holding chopticks and frying pans. what is this.. did u guys just arrived from china and met a kitchen for the first time? 5 hours in the kitchen not enough for u to be fascinated by how the british use melanine as kitchenware and not as foods? and what's that pungent, nauseting smell swirling around with those smokes?
are you guys cooking fertilizers?


- had to go to the lab. and the wind. arghh i'm bitching so much about the wind lately but tonight it's like they are on a revenge path against every living person within this 15km radius. they blew right through every miniscule hole of my jackets and jeans and make my goosebumps looks like zits.

- stupid sponsor..yeah they are my sponsor and since i haven't been this crabby in months i deserve to take a few shots at them the incompetent &@#;*#((@!*. copies upon copies of documents had been submitted back in KL.. and now the london branch is also after me for the same stupid copies. and it wasn't mentioned in before i came here that i need one copy of this one particular document..
and since i didn't came here to get married to a Mr Bean lookalike and never go back again, of course i din't bring my every files,comics and smelly pillows.

- report. i can't get past the first 5 pages.ME.toefl essay fullmark scorer. dateline's in a few days and i'm just at lost translating the technical how-tos in my head into something remotely comprehensible. and they are protesting against sciences taught in english?

- a stupid 'friend'conned me into ordering some expensive stuffs (think in the line of thousands) and refusing to pay after i'm done shipping it to her. or should i say i'm the stupid one for naively trusting people? forget the fact that i hvn't seen u for years, what part of 'friend' tells u it's ok to connive people anyway.what..u think just cuz i never ripped off your hair it means i can't do it?or do you think the cold will eventually kill me here and i won't come back ever? there's kak ina and atul who'll track me down and bring me back even if i died here anyway.

-i waaaannnnt roadtripss
-i waaaaannnttt new one piece episodes.faster.
-i wanaaaanttt ice creaam

now that i've disgust ev'ry one with my relentless whines.
i'm going to the lab and just fight Mr Writer's Block face to face.
only one person will go back alive tonight.

a kkangpae head, (yakuza in japan, mafia in italy) in a korean series once said..
"no tree will continue to stay upright if you hack on in endlessly".
while he said that in full determination to harrass and torture a cute chef into submission to join the Gang.. in a positive light, it also means i can get this stupid paper done if i hack on my keyboard endlessly.

aja, aja, hwaiting!

that is.. if the tree does not belongs to this species.

whenever i get struck with my now uncontrollable addiction to korean series,
when my eyes finally got bleary after nights of not sleeping,
when the familiar painful pounding began to creep up the back of my head,
i'd feel a horrible blast of guilt hitting full force on my conscience.
at those times.. i'll imagine the Syringe. A magic Syringe. which doesn't draw out blood.
I'd imagine myself sticking it to my arm and slowly drawing out the lazy bugs out from my system. Slowly, stingingly.
the pain is salve for my teared conscience.
I'd fill up buckets upon buckets of purple gooey. Sometimes.. when i've been lazy too long, they became hard maroon lumps. And they'd make awful clanking sounds in my buckets.
and the sounds will make me feel guiltier.
And i'd go the the control panel and block all streaming sites.
until a few hours later..when i can't focus on any of my assignments.. i will desperately justify to my brains the need of taking a short break,
and gleefully unblock everything. and then the cycle starts again.
i should register for MAA, movie addicts anonymous. because the Syringe,
it has lost its magic.

i dont' know why people want to get drunk.
to forget their problem?
because everyone else did it?
to look cool?
to get wasted and puke along the roadside?
to kill their braincells?
those littres of fermented grapes, can they really make people happy?

i never knew a group of drunk people could get so ugly.
maybe because i've never met any.
looking out my bedroom window everyweekend.. i can see and hear drunkards and lullabies.
but the noise never bothered me..because i can generate more noise with my mp3s.

drunkards and lullabies..are the worse combination to meet
when you are alone on a dull lighted street on the way to work.
the stench, the noise, the lewd freaking no manners leering,
those disoriented grabbing and braindead senseless zombies blocking your path.
drunkards and lullabies, they really scared me half to death last night.
i really wish i can just stew them all in a big pot and watch while their poisonous insides boils.