@vashlane

What do you call having to buy the same sneakers at the same shop, 3 times in 3 months?

I know telcos had it bad with punks stealing copper and fiber cables, but shoes? Geez, it wasn’t as if my sneakers were glow in the dark Nikes! And they were pink! What kind of perv wanna steal those?

So let’s try and solve The Case of The Missing Sneakers.

First of; Suspect Profile Analysis::

Since the same colored shoes was stolen everytime, let’s just rule out men ( I know a guy who owned a roomful of pink stuffs, but he had injured a butt so he’s got the perfect alibi )

Given the fact the she have to climb up a flight of stairs to get to my home (crime scene #1) and the fact that she was able to steal the shoes from my car and run away from the parking lot in the jiffy that I went to get my keys (crime scene #2) just goes to show that the thief is a healthy woman aged 20 -40 years.

Since it was only 2-3 weeks since my last pair was stolen, we can conclude that stealing is a hobby of hers and she will die if she did not steal pink shoes every week. This kinda obsessive-compulsive behaviour (OCB) proves that she’s a drug addict. Probably a divorced, lonely, single mother who can draw pink colored futures when she’s high.

Crime Lab::
Let’s get to the evidences. Going to the first crime scene, the shoe rack
Inside the wooden door before the grill. Taking out cotton buds and sampling evidences, I bagged a brittle blond hair (or issit pieces from the wheat broom..) , sweet wrappers, a blank CD inside the vase, shreds of glasses, a piece of gray fabric, a dead mosquito and a buncha sweet smelling rose petals.

Going under a 4x optical zoom digital microscope - From the highly un-proportional percentage of lead oxide versus calcium oxide and fossiled dust particles..I can conclude that Erry smashed a plate sometimes last month.

Ruling out the possibility that the thief is in fact a rose bearing cute garderner ala` John in Desperate Housewives, the petals probably means that a housemate had another fight with her other half.

The CD…well. Viewing it on the PC, highly wishing that’s it’s a video asking for ransom, but it just contains corrupted data. High probability of an amateur VCD pirate-r living in the house.

Butchering the mosquito, Grissom style,single handed. Err blood samples shows high level of cholesterol. Takleh nak cek DNA sbb Webstars down. Tapi confirm darah orang yang makan burger hari2.

Clues as pointless as Abdullah Hukum LRT station. There’s that blond hair though. Blond, divorced and a druggie. Narrows down the suspect to Britney Spears. Or Pamela. Makes more sense cuz she does looks like she’s got a wheat broom on her head. That.Or i have an albino stalker.